If you’ve ever resisted change in your life (I know that I have!), you’ve likely chosen to as a result of fear – fear of uncertainty. Change is scary, even if it’s change that you’ve been seeking. It’s even scarier when you haven’t expected it and your life is turned upside down. There are many of us who let our fear of change trap us into a life that is unfulfilling and unhappy. As a result, we are not really living, but rather staying tight in our buds.
Arina Nikitina, in her blog, talks about an acronym for F.E.A.R. which really spoke to me. It stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. We create this “evidence” in our minds to keep ourselves from going with the flow. We lose sight of our goals and, thus become immobile. If you want to overcome your fears and learn to embrace change, Arina gives a few great tips. I’ve added hers, along with some of my own from experience.
1) Stop and take a Moment
When change is unexpected, it is oftentimes traumatizing. Take the time to breathe and nurture yourself as you process through what is going on. Nothing has to be done right away, and actually sometimes it’s best to sit with it for a while. That little bit of time can allow you to create an action plan for next steps.
2) Take small steps
Create short-term goals first. They should be attainable and specific to you. Write them out and review them daily, so they become a part of your subconcious. You have to be willing to create shifts from the inside before they can arrive on the outside.
3) You are your own worst critic.
Remember, no one judges you with the intensity that you judge yourself. Often, you fear this false judgment as you seek approval or wonder how you will be perceived. No matter what change is happening in your life, you have to be true to yourself.
4) Stay positive and focused.
Envision positive changes and expect them to show up. You must continue to do the work and be focused on the direction you want to go. If you’re not sure, keep asking yourself until you get the answer. It will eventually come.
5) Accept failure as part of change
Things do not always go our way. We will fail. It is not the failure that we should focus on but what we learned from the experience. Change your mindset to look at failure as an opportunity to grow and to learn. The most successful people have used their failures as expected stepping stones to climbing their ladder.
6) Allow change to happen.
After you have done all that you can within your control, you have to surrender. Sometimes, there’s no other way but to step aside and allow things to happen.
7) Know in your heart that change WILL move you forward.
There is a lot that is unseen, unknown, and uncertain in this world. It doesn’t always make sense. But in the grand scheme of your life, there’s no doubt that change will always transform you in some way.