Dreaming a New Dream

The other day I attempted to console a good friend who questioned the next step to take in her life.  She had recently come short of passing an exam she needed to pass in order to work in her profession.   The reality of the present situation forced her to question her existing vision and life path.  Does she continue to work toward achieving her dream profession?  Does she take the current circumstance as a sign to take a detour and carve a new path?  Does she still feel passion for the profession in the midst of discouragement?  It got me thinking about our vision – not just the picture of our immediate stimuli, but the greater vision we hold for ourselves.  How do we navigate through the maze of life when the things we envisioned for ourselves do not manifest as we thought and hoped they would?  How do we re-create our vision and begin to dream a new dream?

Let’s face it, life is full of challenges.  Things may not always go as planned, but it is important to have a roadmap.  I have always been a big believer in creating dreams or visions for my life.  There is no way to achieve the things you desire unless you first create a mental image of it in your mind.  I think we all do this to some degree.  We do this when we decide on a career path to take, or when we visualize a life partner, or when we imagine our dreamhome.  Many times during our journey, we hit roadblocks – you don’t get the job you want, you go through a divorce, you lose your dream home to another buyer.  What do you do next? 

The thing about creating visions is that they can always be re-created.  Part of our own roadblock is the attachment we hold to the old vision.  It takes a lot of strength to let go and surrender to the idea that another path is not only possible, but it can be greater and more fulfilling than you could have even envisioned for yourself.  You may still achieve all that you desire, but it may not be in the way or in the timeframe you thought.  Perhaps, during the process, you may discover you have a new desire.

Oftentimes, the reality of our situation doesn’t make sense to us.  It’s not supposed to.  Steve Jobs, in a speech he gave to Stanford University Graduates in 2005, states, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever”.

Remember, life doesn’t end when it doesn’t go as planned.  The most successful people will tell you that the times in which they felt lost or as though they had failed, were actually the catalyst for creating, or re-creating a better dream and a brighter future.  Be willing to take the risk in creating and re-creating! 

Deepali’s Piece of Wellness:  Have you given up on your dreams, because life hasn’t turned out as you expected?  Can you start creating a new vision for yourself today?  What does it look like?  **More tomorrow on how to get clarity on a new vision!

Find Your Spirit

As we finish our topic of SPIRIT this week, I thought we’d ponder the two phrases below…..

“There is a guidance for each of us, and by slowly listening we shall hear the right word .  Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom which flows into your life. Then, without effort, you are impelled to truth and to perfect contentment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Spirit is an invisible force made visible in all life.” – Maya Angelou

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Think about those two phrases above as you start your weekend.  Have faith in the power that you harness.  There is a light that radiates and shines through you.  

Have a great weekend!

A Spiritual Connection Within

This evening, I ventured out to try a new yoga studio.  I have been in search of a vinyasa practice that would be a good fit for me.  The minute I walked into the studio, I immediately felt a certain energy in the room.  The class had not yet begun, but I just knew that this was going to be the place for me.  I certainly used my intuitive sixth sense on this, and I was correct. 

Yoga has been a part of my life, exercising the mind and body, for some time now.  As we discuss the topic of SPIRIT this week, I thought about the strong link between spiritual connection, or enlightenment, and yoga.  Through yoga practice, we strengthen our spirit by bringing our energy inward, starting with an awareness to our breath.  It is the first kriya, or action of our soul.  By turning inward, we can access that part of us that connects to something greater – that intuitive energy we discussed, the divine power that resides within us, and our authentic selves. 

The path to spiritual wellness can take any form.  It can involve prayer, meditation, affirmations, and/or any specific belief system you espouse.  The important piece is that you find purpose and meaning to the flow of your life.  Although yoga is my conduit for this flow, being mindful does not have to come only through yoga.  You can easily start your day with an intention, just as we do at the beginning of yoga class. 

What do you hope to give of yourself today?  What answers are you seeking today?  Where can you find peace today?  When we intend something, we are connecting to that higher power and we are believing in it.  We are believing and having unwavering faith that  something larger exists within us and for us.

The Intuitive Sixth Sense

I spoke briefly last week about what many deem our “sixth sense”.  It is our INTUITION.  People call it the “gut sense” –  likely because we feel a real visceral response inside our bodies.  Our muscles may contract or expand, our stomach may tie itself in knots or release, our hearts may beat faster or slow down.  All these responses give us some clue to the answers we may be seeking.  Whether it’s picking out what to wear on a given day or deciding whether to buy that home, we do always have some “sense” into what we are feeling in the moment. 

Oprah devoted last month’s O Magazine to the topic of intuition.  She talked about this innate power that is always available to us if we just listen.  It was interesting to read that all animals have an intuitive sense and prepare themselves to act on it, accordingly.  Humans are the only creatures that, despite hearing, seeing, and “feeling” the signs, actually choose to deny or ignore them.  Why is that?  I guess because we are conditioned in such a way since birth.  We are told what to do, how to act, who to marry, where to live, when to retire, etc.  The voices that usually take precedence exist outside of ourselves.  So much of how we live is dictated by our need to seek approval from others.  We all want to feel validated and worthy, so much that we may forget what is our own truthful path. 

So, what exactly is this intuitive sense?  Call it what you will, but I believe it is our spiritual intelligence.  It is God, the Universe, the Divine Spirit – whatever that power is for you.  And, I do believe that it always exists in us.  I have leaned on it and trusted it a lot in my life.  It didn’t always make rational sense to those around me, or for that matter, to myself, but somehow I knew it on a visceral level. 

There will be those times that you need to tune down the analytical, left side of your brain to give rise to the right, more intuitive side.  Believe in your intuitive sense.  Believe in your Spirit.  Believe that there is something within you that is greater than you can see.  Lean on it, trust it and use it to guide you.

Deepali’s Piece of Wellness:  When making decisions for yourself this week, no matter how small, take a moment to listen to your gut.  Can you learn to trust it?

Where does your happiness live?

How many times have we said to ourselves and others, “I just want to be happy” in life.  To most, happiness can range from contentment to pure elation and joy.  Sure, there is truth in Joseph Cambell’s simple advise, “follow your bliss”, but how many of us really know what that is?  Do we ever just stop and ask ourselves what exactly we want to be, do, or have in this lifetime? 

There is currently a plethora of books and motivational speakers discussing the science of happiness.  Psychologist Martin Seligman provides the acronym PERMA to summarize many of Positive Psychology’s findings; “humans seem happiest when they have Pleasure (tasty foods, warm baths, etc.), Engagement or (aka Flow, the absorption of an enjoyed yet challenging activity), Relationships (social ties have turned out to be extremely reliable indicator of happiness), Meaning (a perceived quest or belonging to something bigger), and finally Accomplishments (having realized tangible goals)”.

When I look at Seligman’s PERMA, I think the pleasure principle is inherent in most of us.  We all intuitively know what brings us that instant gratification in various capacities.  I think the other principles, however, take some serious thought.  It’s easy to think that we’d be happy the minute we won the lottery or the instant we met our ‘soul mate’.  But have we sat down and pondered how much money we really need to thrive in this world?  How would you recognize your soul mate if you haven’t really thought about your values and what you want out of a life partner?  The truth is, many of us can’t pursue happiness unless we know what gives our life meaning, what we want to achieve, and what healthy relationships look and feel like.  We chase happiness in hopes of catching up to something that ends up being elusive, at best, unless we know the unique experiences for which we are searching.

I recently read Jack Canfield’s book, “The Success Principles”.  One of his assignments is to write down 30 things you want to do, be, and have.  It is an exercise on becoming absolutely clear in what you visualize for your life.  I felt silly when I first sat down to write down 90 items, but it ended up being a lot of fun.  Because there were no limits, it was quite empowering and gave me clarity on what was most important to me in life.  That’s what happens when you peel back the layers, stop judging yourself, and listen to your authentic voice.  You start living your truth. 

Only then can you follow your bliss and be on your way to experiencing true happiness.

***Stay tuned for more on the science of happiness Wednesday****

Deepali’s piece of wellness:  Exercise your mind and get excited about writing down 30 things that you want to be, do, and have.  You will have a much easier time hearing the sound of joy when it comes knocking on your door!

Comparing Apples to Apples

I think it’s inevitable that we all, to some degree, compare ouselves to those around us.  Does my outfit look good enough, is my house big enough, is the amount of money I make enough?  Enough, already!  The “enough” seems to be centered around where we stand in comparison to those around us.  It could be our friends, family, coworkers, etc.  We have this need to impress and try to “keep up with the Joneses”.   We seek approval from those outside of ourselves, despite what our truth might be.  We begin to judge ourselves by the standards to which we hold others. 

I remember looking at certain friends over the years and thinking “wow, they have it good…..their lives have lined up perfectly for them….if only I could have it that good”.  These same people over the years would be the ones to go through their own  life struggles, falling off the pedestal I had placed them on.  A person’s life may seem perfect on the outside, but perhaps only on the surface.  I found out recently that a good friend of mine is going through life-changing transitions, many of which I had never known. 

The truth of the matter is, we all go through ebbs and flows in life.  It really is pointless to compare your own path to that of another, thinking you should be riding along at the same speed, going to the same places.  We all have our own unique things to learn, problems to face, fears to tackle, layers to peel down.  If our happiness is based upon being in line with someone else’s path, we won’t ever find fulfillment.  It’s about looking inside yourself and really radiating what is true to you.  Who is your authentic self?  What is your purpose and what do you have to contribute to the world?  What really brings you joy?  My hope is that the only comparison we make is within ourselves…..to compare how much we have grown by some of our challenging experiences and knowing that we have always been enough.

The Deeper Seed of Happiness

When it comes to spirituality, there are few teachers that compare to Eckhart Tolle.  I have read the book below and I highly recommend it to all.  There are many spiritual life lessons packed inside.  This is an excerpt from the January ’09 issue of O magazine. 

Oneness with All Life by Eckhart Tolle
  1. Don’t seek happiness. If you seek it, you won’t find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness. Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is rather than making up stories about it.
  2. The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is. There is the situation or the fact, and here are my thoughts about it. Instead of making up stories, stay with the facts. For example, “I am ruined” is a story. It limits you and prevents you from taking effective action. “I have 50 cents left in my bank account” is a fact. Facing facts is always empowering.
  3. See if you can catch the voice in your head, perhaps in the very moment it complains about something, and recognize it for what it is: the voice of the ego, no more than a thought. Whenever you notice that voice, you will also realize that you are not the voice, but the one who is aware of it. In fact, you are the awareness that is aware of the voice. In the background, there is the awareness. In the foreground, there is the voice, the thinker. In this way you are becoming free of the ego, free of the unobserved mind.
  4. Wherever you look, there is plenty of circumstantial evidence for the reality of time—a rotting apple, your face in the bathroom mirror compared with your face in a photo taken 30 years ago—yet you never find any direct evidence, you never experience time itself. You only ever experience the present moment.
  5. Why do anxiety, stress, or negativity arise? Because you turned away from the present moment. And why did you do that? You thought something else was more important. One small error, one misperception, creates a world of suffering.
  6. People believe themselves to be dependent on what happens for their happiness. They don’t realize that what happens is the most unstable thing in the universe. It changes constantly. They look upon the present moment as either marred by something that has happened and shouldn’t have or as deficient because of something that has not happened but should have. And so they miss the deeper perfection that is inherent in life itself, a perfection that lies beyond what is happening or not happening. Accept the present moment and find the perfection that is untouched by time.
  7. The more shared past there is in a relationship, the more present you need to be; otherwise, you will be forced to relive the past again and again.
  8. Equating the physical body with “I,” the body that is destined to grow old, wither, and die, always leads to suffering. To refrain from identifying with the body doesn’t mean that you no longer care for it. If it is strong, beautiful, or vigorous, you can appreciate those attributes—while they last. You can also improve the body’s condition through nutrition and exercise. If you don’t equate the body with who you are, when beauty fades, vigor diminishes, or the body becomes incapacitated, this will not affect your sense of worth or identity in any way. In fact, as the body begins to weaken, the light of consciousness can shine more easily.
  9. You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you and allowing that goodness to emerge.
  10. If peace is really what you want, then you will choose peace.

Exerpted from Oneness with All Life by Eckhart Tolle. Published by arrangement with Dutton, a member of Penguin Group (USA), Inc. Copywright © 2008 by Eckhart Tolle

Belief in Spirit

Every year millions of us blow out our birthday candles and make a wish.  We pray for a loved one in the hospital.  We have those visceral signs that guide us in making big life decisions.  The common denominator in those instances is that, for most of us, we believe there is a power outside of us that is accessible through hope, faith, or prayer.  Be it God, the universe, or a higher Spirit, we feel a sense of peace when we hand over many of our trials and tribulations over to something greater than ourselves.

Our spiritual wellness encompasses the deeper part of who we are – it encapsulates our core values and beliefs, our life purpose and the meaning it holds for us.  That awareness we have brings us closer to the divine “higher” power we believe will carry us through.  In essence, it lives within us.  Studies have already shown the benefits that spirituality plays in our lives.  Those that practice accessing the deeper parts of themselves and believe that the Universe/God is on their side, have been noted to have reduced stress and lower blood pressure.  I think it is definitely a contributor to our wellness quotient.

I know that lately I have attempted to access my spiritual energy and reach for guidance from the Universe.  I am having to make some big life-changing decisions and have been in a frenzy about it.  There are inevitable fears, doubts, frustration, and resistance.  I’ve been forced to ask myself some difficult questions.  Chatting with some good friends over ice cream last night, I was reminded of  my ability to choose my thoughts.  Negative thoughts often brew negative outcomes.  It’s that simple, self-fulfilling prophecy, or the Law of Attraction.  Why not be excited at the opportunity of something new and live in the light of the life ahead?  How would that change the perception of my reality?  I know that by silencing my mind, through yoga/meditation/prayer, I will be able to find the answers.  I just need to trust and take heed to the signs that will present themselves around me.  And I trust that you all will, too!  ****More on Spirit Wednesday!

Deepali’s piece of wellness:  Believe in a power greater than your physical self…..there is more to you than meets the eye!

My first post…….

Welcome to my blog!  I’m very excited to begin.  When I thought about the title I would use, I thought about what the word “wellness” meant to me.  It’s certainly the buzzword all over town these days.  Being of East Indian descent, I wanted to use a word from the ancient language of Sanskrit to describe how wellness pertains to all of us.  The word “kriya” fit.  Kriya literally means ‘the action of the soul’.  We are all on this journey to live our fullest potential – from the aspects of mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. The soul is always evolving……it is, therefore, always in motion.  In yogic terms, this starts with our breath.  The wellness kriya, to me, is the process by which we all strive to become more of who we truly are…….that perfect, authentic self that  lies deep within us.  We accomplish this by engaging and incorporating 7 actions  – the ingredients that I feel make up, what I call, our wellness quotient.  Those seven kriyas are:  Exercise the Mind & Body, Take a Risk, Feel Gratitude, Be Present, Believe in Spirit, Embrace Change, and Let Go.  Living our lives with these actions in mind will increase our wellness quotient and allow us to follow our truth.  Each week we will look closely at one of these categories.   My purpose is to empower others to believe in themselves and to provide teaching tools for unleashing their true potentials.  Let’s start peeling down the layers and get to the core!